The Science of Goals - Part 2 - Why Failure is a Win

We began this 2-part series last week and today we finish up our conversation about the Science of Goals.  We know that not everyone sets goals, but even of those who do, most go about it in a self-defeating sort of way.  This series is about you understanding the science of goals and structuring and measuring your goals in a way that helps you gain confidence and grow.  So, if you're feeling disappointed or stuck, this post and last week's are for you.  Last week, we talked about setting up a "win-cycle" for your goals.  This week, let's talk about how we measure the success of our goals.  Initially, you may not believe this, but completing a "failing" % of your goals this year will actually be a BIG win for you.  Let's look at how this works.

This is a quick case study of my own goals from 2016.  When we were near the end of last year, I sat down and recorded what % of my goals I accomplished.  That year, I had six areas I was measuring goals in.  It's probably too many.  For 2017, I consolidated my goals to 3 areas.  However, for clarity, I listed the six main areas and what % I reached on those goals. You can see them below.  Overall, it doesn't look too impressive.  

2016 Goal Performance:

- Faith - 37%

- Health - 36%
- Family - 34%
- Finance - 7%
- Vision - 90%
- Work - 74%

If you average all these, I accomplished about 47% of my 2016 goals.  Sounds even worse, right?  But, allow yourself to think about this differently for a minute.  The reason we are all trained to think 47% is poor is because we filter it through our formalized education system.  We all spent years in school and we all know that 47% is an F - it's a failure!  So, we reason, completing 47% of my goals is also a failure. But, nothing could be further from the truth!

Here's why.  In school, you learn and test to meet a standard.  If you're a kid in 9th grade, there are 9th grade standards and you strive to meet 100% of the standards. I'm not saying that's a good system, but it is the system our culture uses.  When we fall below 100%, we're that far below the standard.  We say (roughly) 90-100% is excellent, 80-89% is good, 70-79% is average . . . you get the picture. In this system, 47% is way below the standard and given a failing grade.  

But goals are completely different than standardized education.  While standardized education says, "this is the standard and you must meet it", goal setting says, "here's where you are and here's where you could be."  Goals are not about meeting standards. Goals about improving and growing. 

So, let's talk about my abysmal 47% performance in 2016.  Can I tell you what my 2016 experience was?  It was, by far, the biggest year of growth I've ever seen.  Wait, what?  Only 47% of my goals accomplished and I saw huge growth?  How can this be? Remember the nature of goals.  Goals are about improving and growing, not meeting standards.  So, if you or I measure goals like we're in school meeting standards, we're going to fool ourselves into thinking we failed when we really won big!

Would it be great to accomplish 100% of your goals?  Sure.  But is it necessary?  No.  Even if you accomplish 10% of your goals, you've seen a 10% improvement in some area of your life.  Who would call that failure?  Not I.  Neither should you.  When it comes to goals, even "failure" is a win.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.  Leave a comment and start a conversation about it.

You Can Learn More From Failure Than From Success

What is success?  If you try and define it, you might find that it's tougher to pin down that you first thought.  Is it making money?  Is it feeling fulfilled?  Is it making a difference in the lives of others?  Is it leaving a legacy?  Is it following a direction you believe is God-given?  The answer is that it's some kind of mixture of all these and much more.  But my point today is not to define success, but rather to ask an even better question. Why are we all chasing it so furiously?

It seems built into us that we want to chase success and run from failure.  But why?  What do we think waits for us with success? What do we fear so greatly if we fail?  These aren't just rhetorical questions.  Rather, I want you to ask yourself these questions and work to answer them.  Their answers will have deep implications for how you'll view both success and failure in your future.

Probably much like you, I've experienced both success and failure in my life.  I've been at points where I was well thought of, I've been at points where I was embarrassed to show my face.  I've been in seasons where I had savings in the bank and seasons where I cried alone in my car because I had no idea how I would provide for my family for the next week. I've been proud of the work I've done.  I've been embarrassed to be seen doing the work I had to do.  And through all theses seasons - and I'm sure there are more of both coming for me - I've learned many valuable lessons.  Let me share just one with you today.

You can learn more from failure than from success.  

Success teaches you:

• This is easy.
• The time to take risks is over.
• Engage cruise control.  I've reached the top.  The journey is over.

Failure teaches you:

• This is more difficult than I had planned for.
• Next time I take a risk, perhaps it should be more calculated or executed more carefully.
• I'm never going to arrive, but I can learn to enjoy the journey.

Although there are many keys to capitalizing on your failures, there is one that seems to stand out.  It's guarding your heart against bitterness.  I would go so far as to say if you allow yourself to get bitter about your failure, you truly have been beaten.  This is because bitterness says, 'It's their fault, not my responsibility.'  On the other hand, if you can choose optimism, even through defeat, you are primed to learn much more than you could ever learn through success.

So, am I saying success is a bad thing?  Absolutely not.  It's wonderful to aspire toward success - whatever that may mean to you.  I'm simply saying that failure is not fatal, and even more than that, some of your greatest opportunities for learning will come through your failure.  Fear failure less.  It could prove itself a valuable ally. 

*I am currently working on a book chronicling a particular season of my life that involved some success but many more failures.  In that season, God taught me numerous lessons about myself and about life.  My hope is that those lessons will be transferrable and inspiring to you.  My goal is to have this book ready for you to read in the first quarter of 2017.*

You already know all this . . . but you'd be a fool not to look again.

The Compound Effect is a great little book written by Darren Hardy.  It's an easy, quick read.  I read it in a week and that's just about a record for me.  So, you fast readers (or people without kids - haha) could probably read it in a day or two.

I'm a little torn on this one.  Not because I don't think it's good.  It's fantastic.  By far, the best book I've read in years.  My hesitation is not because the book lacks good content, but because the content is so incredibly simple.  Just yesterday, I texted 5 friends, who are great leaders, and recommended they read it.  Part of me felt like I was doing them a huge favor, another part felt somewhat embarrassed.  It's like I almost think they will read it and then call me up and say, "Well, I already knew all that."  But as the book's introduction states, "New or more information is not what you need - a new plan of action is.  It's time to create new behaviors and habits that are oriented away from sabatoge and toward success. It's that simple."

So, I'm holding onto this little book that's absolutely life-changing.  And believe me, I realize how overused that phrase is and I use it sparingly.  But this is a true example of life-changing . . . if you decide to engage your mind and actions. 

Here's the simple truth.  You are the sum total of every single decision you make.  I'm talking hundreds a day - most of them unconscious.  But that's one of the big problems.  You're living your life on auto-pilot when you should have your hands on the stick.  Each daily decision seems small - too small to matter, but each one does matter.  We can easily fool ourselves into believing "just one donut won't kill me" or "I can miss one workout and be fine" or "I can skip having that one more tough conversation at work that I really need to have."  They're all true statements.  That is, they are true if the "one" part is true.  But it's not.  If you make these statements and believe them daily, the truth becomes a lie and you are being sabatoged by the compound effect.  You see, the compound effect is like a law of nature.  It's always in effect. You can't choose to turn it on or turn it off.  You can only choose to leverage it for success or failure.  Tony Robbins said it like this, "Your decisions shape your destiny.  You future is what you make of it.  Little, everyday decisions will either take you to the life you desire or to disaster by default."

It all boils down to success.  Not just financial or business success, but success in whatever is important to you.  I actually hate that the subtitle of the book says, "jumpstart your income" because it makes it look like it's one of those "do this and get rich overnight" books, which I despise. Truthfully, it's more like a "do this and get rich over a lifetime" book. And when I say "rich", I mean in every sense of the word, not just financially.  Besides the simple principle-based writing in this book, Hardy gives tons of practical advice on how to translate the ideas into action.  It's also packed with worksheets you can complete to get yourself on track with many things you've probably been on auto-pilot with.

The bottom line is that I belive this is not only a great read, but a very important one, for anyone who is looking to do more than just exist and be taken here and there by life.  I hope you'll take that step.  If you do read this, please come back here and share your take aways with me.  I would love to hear your success stories!  Enjoy.

Re-ordering Your Private World For The Next Part Of Your Journey

Ok, maybe you're a Christian.  Maybe you're going to heaven when you die.  But, have you ever felt, after the initial excitement of it wore off, that there must be something more than just being "saved"?  Well, there is.  Read on.

I just finished my first book of the new year.  It was one that I got for Christmas, maybe ten years ago.  I believe I started it three or four times and never made it more than a couple chapters in.  I was tempted to think it wasn't very good and probably not worth reading.  The truth was, I wasn't ready to hear what it was saying.  Thank God that I was this time.

The book is Mid-Course Correction by Gordon MacDonald and it is well worth the read.  He builds the book on the concept of "vital optimism".  Here's a short excerpt to explain:

"(Vital optimist is) the confident expectation that history is going somewhere and that God our Creator and Redeemer is powerfully directing it.  Without such vital optimism or hope, life is, to say the least, quite troublesome."

MacDonald went on to chronicle the journey of 3 distinct people groups: (1) Abram and his clan as they answered a call to leave what was familiar in the book of Genesis, (2) the Israelites as they wrestled with the challenge to follow God's leading after they left Egypt and (3) the disciples of Christ as they reached higher toward a type of living the world had never seen before and we rarely see today.


After he unpacks those three stories in some details, we're left with the rock bottom concept, which is, to share another excerpt:

"Deep life change, mid-course correction, comes:

(1) When a person learns to leave and journey according to the hidden purposes of God.
(2) When a person learns to follow and master the hidden life of character according to Christ.
(3) When a person learns to reach beyond circumstances, adversity and death to the hidden rewards that lie waiting for those who enter eternity with Him.

Living like this brings mid-course correction of the deepest sort.  And we shall not be disappointed."

Are you looking for a life full of vital optimism?  Are you feeling somewhat hopeless?  Do you just know, deep down, that you were created for more than what you know so far?  I can't recommend this book enough for you.  We all know, deep down, that we're in need of a mid-course correction.  This book shows us what that has looked like in others past and what it could look like for us in our future.  

If you have read it or do read it in the future, I'd love to know what you think.