You are the average of the people you spend the most time with. There are some relationships you’ll need to cultivate, some you’ll need to pull away from and some you’ll need to create. Whatever your current situation, you cannot attain God’s dream for you alone. Here are five crucial relationships you’ll need in place to see your dream take flight.
1. Experts. These are people working and living out a dream similar to the dream you are called to. We all need models and mentors and you may need to do some research to find who some of these experts are. Remember, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Most of us will need to see and even learn a model before we can adapt it. As you begin to research who some of these experts are, reach out to them and see how you can learn from afar and even close. You may be surprised how accessible some people will be if you just ask. Overall, chemistry is key. Look for experts and then lean into the relationships with those you feel you click with best.
2. Supporters. These are people who believe in you, who encourage you and would pray for you if you asked. Supporters are like a spider web. The tensile strength of a spider’s silk is greater than that of the same weight of steel. Further, it has greater elasticity, because of its many points of connection. Who are the people who will hold you up as you move God’s dream forward for your life?
3. Challengers. These are the ones who typically tell it like it is. They are very direct and straightforward. We all need these people who will challenge and push us to reach higher and get better. They will challenge you both by the example of their lives and by the words they speak. They may not know much about your dream, but they are for you and could play this role if asked. Caution, these people may threaten you. You may need some thick skin to gain the valuable perspective a challenger will bring to you.
4. Resourcers. These will share and sponsor you into their networks and relationships. Supporters will help you with your dream by providing knowledge, experiences and even financial resources. Again, chemistry is key, but can you think of some people who deeply care about you and might want to help you pursue your dream by being resourcers? A word of caution. These won’t always be the people you would expect most. Just because they’ve been a supporter does not mean they will become a resourcer.
5. Balancers. These are the ones who will help you live a healthy and balanced life. Once you discover God’s dream for your life, it’s easy to pursue it full-throttle, often to the detriment of other vital aspects and people in your life. We all know people who have burned out doing too much of what they love or have neglected some priorities and have lost valuable parts of their life along the way. Hear this and hear it well. You can’t afford to lose your health or relationships that matter most. Think of people you know that model emotional, physical, relational, intellectual and spiritual health. Who would push you to take time for leisure activities or hobbies? You may not know one person who will bring all those traits, but you know some people who can bring some of them.
I hope this list is helpful to you as you pursue God’s dream for your life and try and decide which relationships you need in your life. You can't do it alone. There is no such thing as a self-made man (or woman).