Is Personal Growth and Self-Leadership Even Important?

Most people I know have a desire to do something significant with their lives.  I’ve observed some be energized and motivated by this desire and some be deflated and depressed.  "Maybe", they think, “I’m not cut out to do anything significant.”  My question to those people has always been and always will be, “Why not you?”

I think I’ve found a clue to why some seem to be able to step into big new worlds and others seem to just stay stuck in the same frustrating life they’ve lived in for years.  I believe the difference between the do’s and the do not's is their willingness to take responsibility for their own growth.  Another way to say it is leading yourself.  It’s ironic, and even ridiculous, that some of us desire other people to follow us when we’ve not even made the effort to lead ourselves well.  In fact, I’ve seen this be a repetitive theme in my own life and in the lives of many of the people I’ve worked with over the years.  It seems that seasons of personal breakthrough are usually preceded by seasons of personal growth and good self-leadership.

Unfortunately, for some of us, it’s way too easy to sit around and complain about how everyone else gets the breaks and even how God seems to call everyone else to bigger and better things in life.  But, how likely is it that God just likes those people more than he likes you?  Does that even make sense?  Isn’t it more likely that God is actively looking for people who are already on the right trajectory? 

I still remember when I first discovered personal growth.  It was the second half of 2007 when I discovered two growth tools that seemed almost magical to me – blogging and podcasts.  I wrote my first blogs on my myspace.com account.  Remember MySpace?  Those were the days.  I launched my current blog in December 2010.  It was hardly a launch, really.  I just started writing because I liked writing and it gave me a great outlet to process the growth happening inside me.  Prior to this time, I had listened to a few podcasts, but I thought they were just a tool for struggling bands to get their music out to a new audience.  I had not realized what rich content there was for the taking – for free!  Only once someone introduced me to the Catalyst Podcast, did I realize the growth potential.  For months, my mind was blown by the guests I heard interviewed.  This was the time I was introduced to Donald Miller, Rob Bell, Craig Groeschel, Andy Stanley, Dave Ramsey, Francis Chan, Mark Batterson and dozens of other great leaders I’d never been exposed to before.  I can still hear that introduction by Andy Stanley . . .  “Leadership is a stewardship.  It is temporary . . . and you’re accountable.”  That literally sent chills up and down my spine every time I heard it.  I was hooked on leadership.  I was hooked on growth.  Not surprisingly, as this growth was taking place, I was seeing and walking into all kinds of new opportunities in the world.

Now, that’s my story.  But what’s yours?  Do you value growth and self-leadership or is that just for the self-help gurus to talk about so they can sell books?  I’ll tell you the truth.  If you value yourself, you’ll value personal growth.  You’re either growing or you’re dying.  There is no such thing as a plateau.  That’s the term we use to comfort ourselves when we know we’re dying a slow death.  

Now it’s time for you to take a step.  What is one new piece you will introduce into your life to foster growth?  This could be some kind of career training, beginning a new reading plan, solitary times of prayer and meditation, listening to podcasts or any number of other avenues. I can’t define this for you.  It’s your life.  It’s your responsibility to find what works for you.

The final piece (for now) is accountability.  Who is one trusted friend you can share your plan with?  You will not only give this person permission, but you will charge them with the responsibility to hold you accountable on this new growth mechanism you’ve decided to introduce into your life.  Choose wisely.  This must be someone who loves you completely and has no hint of an ulterior motive.  Depending on your situation, your pastor, a co-worker, and even your spouse may or may not be the best choice.

Choose wisely.  Choose to begin a life of personal growth.  Choose to lead yourself well.

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You already know all this . . . but you'd be a fool not to look again.

The Compound Effect is a great little book written by Darren Hardy.  It's an easy, quick read.  I read it in a week and that's just about a record for me.  So, you fast readers (or people without kids - haha) could probably read it in a day or two.

I'm a little torn on this one.  Not because I don't think it's good.  It's fantastic.  By far, the best book I've read in years.  My hesitation is not because the book lacks good content, but because the content is so incredibly simple.  Just yesterday, I texted 5 friends, who are great leaders, and recommended they read it.  Part of me felt like I was doing them a huge favor, another part felt somewhat embarrassed.  It's like I almost think they will read it and then call me up and say, "Well, I already knew all that."  But as the book's introduction states, "New or more information is not what you need - a new plan of action is.  It's time to create new behaviors and habits that are oriented away from sabatoge and toward success. It's that simple."

So, I'm holding onto this little book that's absolutely life-changing.  And believe me, I realize how overused that phrase is and I use it sparingly.  But this is a true example of life-changing . . . if you decide to engage your mind and actions. 

Here's the simple truth.  You are the sum total of every single decision you make.  I'm talking hundreds a day - most of them unconscious.  But that's one of the big problems.  You're living your life on auto-pilot when you should have your hands on the stick.  Each daily decision seems small - too small to matter, but each one does matter.  We can easily fool ourselves into believing "just one donut won't kill me" or "I can miss one workout and be fine" or "I can skip having that one more tough conversation at work that I really need to have."  They're all true statements.  That is, they are true if the "one" part is true.  But it's not.  If you make these statements and believe them daily, the truth becomes a lie and you are being sabatoged by the compound effect.  You see, the compound effect is like a law of nature.  It's always in effect. You can't choose to turn it on or turn it off.  You can only choose to leverage it for success or failure.  Tony Robbins said it like this, "Your decisions shape your destiny.  You future is what you make of it.  Little, everyday decisions will either take you to the life you desire or to disaster by default."

It all boils down to success.  Not just financial or business success, but success in whatever is important to you.  I actually hate that the subtitle of the book says, "jumpstart your income" because it makes it look like it's one of those "do this and get rich overnight" books, which I despise. Truthfully, it's more like a "do this and get rich over a lifetime" book. And when I say "rich", I mean in every sense of the word, not just financially.  Besides the simple principle-based writing in this book, Hardy gives tons of practical advice on how to translate the ideas into action.  It's also packed with worksheets you can complete to get yourself on track with many things you've probably been on auto-pilot with.

The bottom line is that I belive this is not only a great read, but a very important one, for anyone who is looking to do more than just exist and be taken here and there by life.  I hope you'll take that step.  If you do read this, please come back here and share your take aways with me.  I would love to hear your success stories!  Enjoy.

4 Reasons You Should Consider Quitting

Winners never quit and quitters never win.  Really?  Winners never quit anything?  I quit one of the biggest endeavors I ever undertook.  How do I feel about that now? Well, like a winner.  I couldn't be happier about my decision to quit.  In 2009, I moved my family across the country to start a new church.  I was convinced I'd pastor that church for life and become one of the most effective lead pastors ever seen. In early 2012, I resigned from that church.  Why?  Well, there were many reasons.  Some are listed below.

I know, the prevailing wisdom is that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to, as long as you don't quit.  But, come on.  Does that really qualify as wisdom?  Think that through.  I'm 45 years old, 5 foot 7 inches and 170lbs. Could I be an NFL defensive lineman if I put my mind to it and don't quit?  Of course not.  And please don't let your mind default to, "Well, that's different.  That's too extreme of an example."  It's not different.  It's exactly the same as any other goal.  It's either in the cards or it's not.  Granted, you may need to spend some time exploring whether or not you've got what it takes, but as you explore, you must be honest with yourself.

Here are four reasons you may need to consider quitting:

1. You're terrible at it.  Remember American Idol tryouts?  They were filled with people who were terrible singers, yet their family and friends tell them they are good and they just need to follow their dream and never quit.  You and I both know that's ridiculous.  For these guys, there is no amount of stick-to-it-ness that will bring them singing stardom.  Why is your situation any different?
2. It's sucking the life out of you (even though you may be good at it).  So many of us make this mistake.  Maybe you're not terrible at it. Maybe you're actually good at it.  That does not mean you ought to be doing it.  You have to spend some time considering it and get honest about how it makes you feel.  Does that thing you're striving to master feed your soul or suck the life out of you?  A couple years ago I was offered a speaking engagement at a church to talk about time management with the opportunity to sign people up for personal coaching afterward. Seems like a good opportunity, right?  I'm a decent public speaker and have been an effective personal coach.  But, as I considered it, I had to face the facts.  Preparing for isolated speaking events sucks the life out of me and at the time, so did personal coaching with strangers. Why would I say yes to that?  Why are you saying yes to something that makes you feel the same way?
3. Your family hates you doing it (even though you may love it).  Even if you're good at it and you love it, it still may not be a good fit for your family or the season your family is in.  Do yourself and them a favor.  Put your family first.  Achieving your goals and losing your family is a net loss.  No question about it.
4. You're missing the boat.  This is probably the biggest reason why this is important.  With all the time and effort you're putting into whatever goal it is you're never going to accomplish, you're ignoring something that you could be truly great at and deeply fulfilled by.  Why not take the courageous step of strategic quitting to clear the way to find what you truly should be doing?

Please understand this important concept.  There is a huge difference between giving up and strategic quitting.  But most of us group them together like they are the same thing.  That could be a serious mistake that could be debilitating to you for many years to come.  I hope you'll consider this topic very seriously.

If you find this to be an interesting topic you want to explore further, I would recommend a great little book by Seth Godin entitled "The Dip".  You can read it in an hour (if you're fast) or three (if you read slow, like me).  Either way, it's a short and powerful read.  Another great resource, if you're looking to change your work to something that will feed your soul, is Dan Miller's "48 Days to the Work You Love".  

Finally, a short disclaimer.  If this resonates with you and you have a job you're terrible at or sucks the life out of you or falls into one of the other categories above, please do not quit that job until you have something else lined up.  That's just irresponsible.  

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject.