The Power of the Pause

Are you a motivated individual?  Are you always moving forward?  Are you always working on the next goal?  Do you get pleasure from the hustle of creating your future?  If you’re nodding yes right now, I’m glad for you.  Those are generally good qualities to possess.  You’re well on your way to achieving your dreams.  However, let me ask you another set of questions.  Which day of the week do you generally take off to rest?  How often do you find quiet places to reflect?  What do your personal retreats look like?  How much do you value rest and reflection?  If you’re staring blankly at these words wondering why anyone would ask such silly questions, we need to talk.  You, my friend, need to understand the power of the pause.

But, why?  Why would you need to stop, rest and reflect?  You don’t get any work done that way.  You’re either taking ground or losing ground, right?  Wrong.  If you’re under the impression that you can just push, push, push and continue to take ground, you’ve bought into a lie.  Have you heard the Law of Diminishing Returns?  The Law of Diminishing Returns simply states that every individual will hit a point in time when productivity will drop off significantly and will not return, no matter how many hours worked and how hard that individual tries to push through the wall they feel they’ve hit.  Daily, you’ll usually hit this wall at the 8-10-hour point.  On a weekly basis, after 5-6 days.  Beyond that, you’ll need to experiment and figure you’re monthly and yearly rhythms.  Think of your life like a road trip.  Driving hard may get you to your destination, but every road-trip is filled with pauses to cool down and refuel.

If you’re a hard driver and have thought of rest and reflection as wasted time, let me share two truths that those of us who do take pauses have learned.

Truth #1: Magic happens when you create space to dream and reflect.  A great mentor of mine told me years ago, “Life happens in the margins.”  He was right.  What are the margins?  They are the buffer times in your schedule and your life.  If you have every minute scheduled, all the time, you have no margin and that’s no kind of life.  When you create these margins in your life, you’re creating space to dream and reflect.  Imagine how much more you could accomplish if you had a regular flood of new and creative thoughts come to you.  This is why you get some of your greatest ideas in the shower.  It’s because the shower may be the only place you ever stop working!  That’s the magic that happens when you create space to dream and reflect.  Have you ever taken a walk down streets you normally drive?  If you do, you’ll notice all kinds of things you’ve never seen before.  That mom and pop business that doesn’t have a flashy sign.  The beautiful fountain that’s slightly obscured by a strip mall.  A lone home in the middle of a retail district.  You gain a greater perspective when you slow down.  You see things that were previously hidden from sight.  Your best ideas will be hidden from you if you continue to drive hard all the time.  Slow down and create space in your life to dream and reflect.

Truth #2.  Energy naturally returns and increases through these times of rest and reflection.  Are you tired?  If you never pause, rest and reflect, the answer is certainly yes.  If you’re in the camp with so many others who desperately want more energy, let me tell you something.  A good night's sleep or a few hours unplugged from your work will give you 10x more energy than that 4-pack of Red Bull you use as a crutch.  You can’t argue with God’s design.  You’re an amazingly complex machine, but you were born with the design that requires rest.  Just like any other machine with a design, if you use it like it was intended to be used, it performs. If you use it in a way contrary to its design, it breaks down.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done nothing for nearly an entire day, feeling like I had no energy, only to magically feel my physical and mental energy hit 100% sometime in the late afternoon.  The only thing I did to replenish that energy was nothing.  We are made to rest and reflect.  If we don’t we are not using our bodies and minds as they were designed by our Creator.  No wonder we’re tired, sluggish and stuck. 

It’s counter-intuitive, but if you want max energy and max creativity, you must step back, rest and reflect.  It’s the power of the pause.  It’s real and you cannot ignore it.

Agree or disagree?  I'd like to know.  And I'd like to know why.  Please, leave a comment.

What Could YOU Possibly Have To Offer?

So, what do you have to offer?  If you’re like most of us, you shy away from questions like this.  We all tend to underestimate what we have to offer.  That may be because we’re overly-modest, we lack confidence or we simply haven’t done the work to identify it.  Whatever the reason, there are two very big problems with you failing to identify what you have to offer this world.  One is that if you don’t identify and operate in whatever “it” is for you, you’ll never be fulfilled.  There will always be an empty feeling inside you that feels like something is missing.  Second, if you don’t identify your “it”, other people (who need “it” very badly) will miss out.  So, you failing to identify what you have to offer is a lose, lose.  But, when you do identify what you have to offer, it’s a win, win.  Let’s talk about how you can shift to the win, win scenario. 

4 questions to help you answer, “What do I have to offer?”

1.  What do you enjoy?  What energizes you?  What gives you that feeling that says, “I was made to do this”?  You may or may not know the answer to this question right off the bat.  If you do, that’s a great start.  If not, you may have some work to do to identify some of the things you enjoy and energize you.  It’s worth all the work it requires.

2.  What do you believe you’re good at?  Again, this is something you may shy away from, but if you allow yourself to be honest, you can probably identify some things you know you’re good at.  They may be current or they may have laid dormant for quite some time.  Take some time today to think and even write down some of those things you believe you’re truly good at.

3.  What do other people tell you you’re good at?  This is a good test.  We can fool ourselves, but it’s difficult to fool others.  If someone tells you you’re good, you probably are.  Once again, take some time and jot down some of those things others have affirmed in you.  You may have even dismissed them, but it’s important to gather those back to the top of your mind.

4.  If money were no object, what would you do with most of your time?  This isn’t a question about leisure time or early retirement.  It’s about what brings you energy and life.  If you had trouble answering #1 above, this may be tough, too.  But to spin the question in these kinds of limitless terms might be just the help you need.  If you don’t know the answer now, can you at least write down a few possibilities?

While these questions are a great start, you may only get so far on your own.  A skilled coach can help you dig deeper into these questions.  I would be honored to offer you that help by utilizing several highly effective coaching tools I have at my disposal.  Just click here to get started on your journey to living out your dreams.  When you’re ready, l'll be ready to help you get there.

5 Reasons You Should Reconsider Your View Of Millennials

I'm 44 years old.  I'm a solid Gen-X-er.  Now that the Baby Boomers are retiring in droves,  my fellow Gen-Ex-ers and I are taking firm hold of the power structure in our nation.  It's true in businesses.  It's true in politics.  And it's true in the church.   Now that the platform for my generation is growing, I'm hearing an awful lot of complaining about the Millennial Generation.  You know, millennials, those born roughly between 1982 -2000, depending on which researcher you choose to cite.  That means they are somewhere between 17 and 35 years old.  If we split the difference, we're talking about a person who's about 26 years old.  

But, I'm not writing to just define an age-group.  Rather, I'm writing to pose a question to my fellow Gen-X-ers and the Baby Boomers ahead of us.  The question is, why are these twenty-somethings getting so much grief from us?  Honestly, I think I see an article every other day about how entitled and lazy and irresponsible this generation is.  And the worst part is that it's my friends and colleagues writing and sharing this all over the internet!  At the risk of sounding over-dramatic, I would like to say to my friends and colleagues who are doing this, respectfully, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.  If you have jumped on the anti-millennial bandwagon,  I want to offer you five reasons you should jump off ASAP.  

1. They're kids.  So was I.  So were you.  I can't speak for you, but when I was 26, I was an idiot.  I didn't know squat, but I thought I knew it all.  Thank God for people in their 40's and 50's who took me under their wing to show me better ways to live.  Thank God they didn't write me off.  Neither should we write off a generation.  They need us to take them under our wings and show them better ways.
2. Not all of them are idiot kids.  Many are light years ahead of where we were at their age.  I want to brag on a millennial friend and colleague of mine.  Mitch Little is a 22-year-old associate student pastor at Solace Church and the guy is literally years and years ahead of where I was when I was his age.  My sons look up to him and I trust him completely with the influence he has with them.  Sure, he may not know some of what I know now, but I'm twice his age.  By the time he's my age, I can only imagine how far he will have gone.  Mitch is an exceptional man, but he is not the exception to his generation.  There are plenty of Mitch Littles in this millennial generation.
3. You're vilifying an entire generation.  I know you've had bad experiences with millennials, maybe especially in the workforce.  I have too.   But is this the only generation you've had a bad experience with?  The whole truth is, we could vilify any other generation in history if we chose to focus only on their negative traits.  Why are we choosing to cast a negative light on an entire generation because of some bad experiences we've had with some individuals in that age-range?  That reflects much more poorly on us than it does on them.
4. They're your kids, so it's your fault.  Let's do some math.  If someone is 26, that means their parents are anywhere from their mid-forties to late-fifties (roughly).  Those are the exact people I see doing the bulk of the complaining.  Hey, if they are our kids, and they are exhibiting poor character traits and a poor work ethic, who does that reflect on most?  Maybe we should have skipped some of those "everybody plays, everybody wins" sports leagues.  
5. They will be handed the keys, regardless of what you think about them.  More math. We're going to be retiring and dying before they do.  If they will be holding the responsibility and authority of our nation in the future anyway, doesn't it make sense that we should dispense with the complaining and lean into the mentoring?  

So, where does that leave us, who are in our 40's, 50's and beyond?  I think it positions us with both a great responsibility and a great opportunity.  Sure, generation gaps are real.  But contrary to what we want to tell ourselves, they are generally created and almost always precipitated by older generations who want to dismiss the younger who are simply exploring their own identity just like we did!  The Baby Boomers said Gen-X were a bunch of negative cynics.  Gen-X says Millennials are a bunch of entitled sloths.  Is any of that helpful?  Of course not.  But beyond that, I would argue that, by and large, it's also untrue. 

If you've read this far, congratulations.  If you're offended by this, I'm sorry.  If you disagree, I'd love to hear why.  It's very possible I'm missing a facet of the reality.  If you agree, please share this post. Whatever your stance, the millennial generation is here to stay and they will assume more authority and responsibility, as time goes on.  How we work to mentor, challenge and build them up between now and then is completely up to us and vital to our future and theirs.

If I Could Share Just One Message With You . . . This Is It.

You can tell a story with your life that's worth celebrating.  The question is, will you?  This is a message I shared at Solace Church last year and I believe it accurately reflects what I believe to be my life's message.  I'd encourage you to take the time to watch it and allow it to sink in and begin to affect change inside of you.  You can tell a story with your life that's worth celebrating.

"This is My Story" Jeff & Tawnya Jackson from Solace Church on Vimeo.

Please, please please don't squander the life you've been given by just "getting by".  That's no kind of life to live and there are too many people you can affect for you to just get by. You can tell a story with your life that's worth celebrating.

You can get started living out a great story right here.

5 Steps To Deliver "Bad News" With Good (ok, better) Results

How do you deliver bad news?  That's a tough question.  My friend, Chris Colvin, and I did a short phone interview this week about just that topic.  Chris was asking me to share some thoughts about how I went about sharing some bad news several years ago with my church.  Years ago, and another lifetime ago, I was a church planter.  I started a brand new church from scratch back in 2010.  Well, a few months into 2012 I knew I was done.  I had to face a few hard facts.  I was not good in the role of lead pastor, things were going the wrong direction, and most importantly to my decision, serving as the pastor of that church was killing me and killing my family.  I had to get very real about the commitments I had made. While a number of people were counting on me, as their pastor, I had taken an oath to just one person.  That person was my wife, Sara.  When I boiled it down to that, it was the right decision to leave that church.

However, just because a decision is right, that does not make it easy to deliver the news of that decision.  Here are a few thoughts I shared with Chris about how to deliver "bad news", based on my experience leaving that church and letting people know what was happening.  I hope this helps you in your situation today.

1.  Ask yourself, "Is this really bad news or is it just surprising?"  News is just news.  Whether it's good, bad or indifferent news is determined subjectively by each one of us based on a dozen different criteria and circumstances.  So, don't assume news that you think might be perceived as 'bad news' is necessarily that.  Instead, go into it with the outlook that you're delivering 'surprising news'.  You might find that people already had a pretty good sense of what was coming, anyhow.  We like to think we hold our cards close to our vest, but our issues and intentions are usually more obvious than we like to believe.  Don't make the mistake of framing it up as bad news for someone else.

2.  Do it in person.  If you're delivering any kind of significant news, especially that which could be perceived as "bad news", don't take the coward's way out and do it in an email or text message.  Pastors, don't do it in a video to be played to your church.  If you care about the people you're sharing your news with, you owe it to them to be present.  They need to see your body language.  They need to see your eyes.  They need to be able to ask you questions to begin processing.  Don't make the mistake of communicating your news when you're not present.

3.  Start at the top.  When you do determine that you have to share this news - good, bad or just surprising, start with those who are very closest to you because these are the ones who will be most affected.  In my case, the decision to leave the church I started was shared in concentric circles.  First, I shared with my wife.  Now, she was not shocked.  We had talked and prayed about it for several months beforehand.  But when the decision was made, she was the first to know.  My boys were very young at the time but had they been older and able to process it, I would have told them together with my wife. Next, I met personally with my closest leader in the church, Josh.  He was my number two guy and I wanted him to know where it was and where it was going.  I told him I was leaving and actually gave him the option to take on the leadership of the church himself or help me build a plan to close the church.  He chose to by my successor, although that's fairly irrelevant to this particular article.  Next, I shared the news with my leadership team at my church.  Since we were a small startup, I didn't have a paid staff, but for all intents and purposes, these people were our church staff.  Finally, and only after the closest people had been briefed, I shared the news with our church publicly.  Don't make the mistake of skipping key people before you make the big announcement.

4.  Communicate the why behind the what.  As I shared my news with each concentric circle in my world, I not only communicated "I'm leaving" but also why I had come to that decision. You will be amazed at how much more understanding people will be about news they don't particularly like if they understand why you made the decision.  And don't underestimate the other side of the coin, either.  If you don't give people the why they will make it up.  In my case, if I had not clearly communicated "I'm not cut out for this and I need to put my family first", it probably would have turned into "Pastor Jason is stepping down because he had an affair . . . with another man."  Nothing squashes the old rumor mill like the truth.  Share as much of that truth as possible.   Don't make the mistake of keeping the why to yourself, even in emotionally charged decisions.

5.  Communicate the news with a plan.  Imagine that I got up in front of my church and just said, "I'm stepping down as your pastor and here's why."  What would be the natural question every person would be asking.  "So, what does that mean?"  So, what comes next?"  Be a friend.  Be a leader.  Answer that question for the people you're delivering your news to.  In my case, the plan was my exit strategy and the transfer of leadership and authority to Josh.  I'm not saying the plan will make everyone like the news you're sharing, but at least it will be clear.  Don't make the mistake of sharing the news without telling those you share it with what comes next.

Well, I hope this was helpful to you.  I'm sure that whatever Chris releases on his website will be much better than this, but I wanted to share it with you today.  Who knows who needs this exact information today?  I would love to hear your stories of how you've gone about sharing "bad news", whether you did a great job or left a little to be desired.

Stuck and Clueless? 5 Steps To Get You Unstuck

I received an email this week from a friend from college.  He's had some difficult circumstances to navigate. He and I have talked some about these over the last couple years and this week and he made a statement to me that is both heartbreaking and all too common.  After describing some of his recent circumstances, he said, "So, here I am with a ton to be thankful for and a huge story to tell . . . I'm not depressed or even sad; I'm just stuck and clueless at, let's just say, 46 now."

Can you relate?  I sure can.  It wasn't many years ago that I was living in the same kind of "stuck and clueless" wilderness. I knew I had a lot to offer, but I didn't know what to do or how to do it.  Maybe you've felt the same?

Let me offer you 5 steps to help get you unstuck.

1. Step away from what you don't want.  So, when you are thinking steps to get unstuck or to get a clue, some of the most important steps to take are steps away from what you don't want . In my case, I made a decision to leave a situation that was a poor fit. Interestingly, this poor fit was a church I planted and the fact that I fit poorly in an organization I founded may be a poor reflection on my leadership, but that is what it is and I can own that. Not only did I decide to leave, I promised myself that I would never take another position in a church that does not fit me.  For me, that means no small, traditional or unhealthy churches.  What is a "poor fit" for you might be a whole different thing.  But, you have to decide to step away from that which you don't want.
2. Surround yourself with the right people.  Specifically, this would be people who believe in you and who are in places you want to see yourself one day. Specifically for me, that meant being around my coach, Brad Sprague and the staff at City Church in Tulsa. Surrounding myself with those people helped tremendously, from both an intentional work standpoint (ie. life planning and coaching) and just the positive energy and friendship they imparted to me.  You are the sum total of the people who are closest to you.
3. Test new waters.  Although my only professional experience had been in church ministry, I tested the waters in both the corporate and church worlds. I interviewed for one position with Farmers Insurance and three different positions with LifeChurch. Those were both organizations with available positions that looked like a good fit for me, but as I got closer, I saw that they weren't. That's not a poor reflection on them.  It's just the simple truth that some of us fit some places and some of us fit other places.  But the value in testing the waters like this is in eliminating clutter in your mind (and heart) and focusing your vision. 
4. Articulate what you do want.  Once you eliminate a bunch of stuff that you know you don't want, you're able to focus on what you do want. I'm way over-simplifying this, but through much prayer, thought and counsel, I came to a simple decision that I wanted a church staff position at a large (or on it's way to being large) church that was really doing something significant. In addition to that, I was set on serving under a pastor that I could really look up to and feel very well lead by. And I'm not at all implying I did not look up to or was not well lead by other pastors I've served under.  This just became a clear piece as I pictured my ideal scenario.  If you don't know where you want to go, you certainly will never arrive.
5. Step toward what you do want.   Shortly after I was able to articulate exactly what I was looking for,  I shared that with a small network of local pastors here in Tulsa.  One of them texted me within days to say Solace Church was looking to add someone to their team. I knew of Solace and I knew our pastor, Matt Blair, but this was not a church on my radar at all. To make a long story short, I've been at Solace Church almost four years now.  The more opportunities you step toward, the more will present themselves.

While my role and responsibilities at Solace have evolved significantly and I've taken many more steps in personal growth and personal vision building,  the steps listed here were what got me out of that stuck and clueless spot into a place of stability where I could build new vision for all God has called me to do in this world.  I hope these are helpful to you.

Your New Filter For Saying NO

Why is it so hard to say no?  Well, let's not make more of it than it really is.  There are only two real reasons you say yes to things you should say no to.  (1) Because you really want to do that thing and you've neglected to count the cost.  (2) Because you want to please people and the idea of disappointing someone is too much for you to bear.  If you're making yes or no decisions like this, your filter is simply either, "Do I want to do this?" or "How will it make them feel if I say no?"  Both are fairly immature and ineffective.  Consider this instead.


A New Filter:  When you say yes to one thing, you're always saying no to another.  This is just one of those principles always at work; one that will either serve you well or bite you in the rear end.  Just think it through for a minute.  Your time, energy and money are finite resources you're tasked with managing.

• Yes to overtime, no to rest.
• Yes to dessert every night, no to fitness
• Yes to an extra hour of sleep each morning, no to personal growth
• Yes to a vendor at work who wants to come by and sell you more stuff, no to your real work
• Yes to another sports league for your kids, no to church and family time
• Yes to a huge luxury home with a huge payment, no to financial freedom

The list can go on and on.  If you're a parent, the easiest place to see this principle at work is with your kids.  How many personal desires have you said no to simply because you said yes to children once upon a time?  In this case, that yes to children was a great decision, but it illustrates this principle well. My twins will be thirteen this Fall and my drums have been stacked up in the corner of the garage for just about that same amount of time :) 

The Filter In Reverse: If you say no to one thing now, it makes room for yes to another down the line.  I serve on the staff at Solace Church.  One of my responsibilities is to respond to the requests we get from the community for financial help.  A few weeks ago a couple showed up to the church asking for money for groceries.  Based on our policies and my gut feeling about this couple I had to tell them we were unable to meet their request.  They didn't like my answer.  He told me some sad stories about how he was put out of work and she told me she was still recovering from a surgery.  She even proceeded to lift up her shirt and show me where the drain was still inserted to drain fluid off from the surgical incision.  Although it made for  a good story (because it was so gross) , it's didn't change my decision.  Now, even though I didn't fully believe their stories and I knew my decision was right, I still felt kind of bad about saying no to their request.  The truth is, I could have said yes.  I've got a budgeted amount of money to work with and I'm free to go outside what our policy says if I feel like it's the right call in that situation.  But, then a few hours later, I received a call from a couple in our church who were in a similar situation.  They met the criteria and I felt good about this one.  That finite resource of budgeted money to help these kinds of needs was still available to the second couple because I had said a somewhat difficult no to the first couple. It felt so good and so right that I could say yes now because I had said no earlier. 

What's out of control for you?  Is it your schedule?  Your money?  Your rest?  Your family time - or lack of?  Chances are if any part of your life feels over-committed and out of control, you might need to reset your filters.  What's an example of this principle at work in your life?

The Secret to Long-Term Productivity

Ok, it's not a secret, but I don't think many of us understand, and even fewer of us respect the ryhthms of our lives. Do you even know I'm talking about?  Well, if not, let's talk about them some.  If you're going through the effort of reading this blog, written to help you lead yourself better, I'm going to assume you're either (A) my mom, or (B) someone who is pretty motivated and ambitious about a great many things in your life.  Since just one of you is my mom, I'm going to write to the rest of you today.  I hope this helps you too, mom. Love you :)

"We over estimate what we can accomplish in a day and under estimate what we can accomplish in a decade."

I'm not sure who first said this.  I heard it from Blaine Bartel and he attributed it to Tony Robbins. Whoever it was, never a truer statement has been made.

I spent some time with a few guys who I highly respect yesterday and we were discussing daily and weekly routines.  One of them mentioned how he pushes to get up early several days a week, but not seven days a week.  Another said he's found, through experimentation, what time he can consistently get up in the morning without crashing after a couple weeks.

The key that I want to ask you to think about today is sustatinability.  I get that you're driven.  So am I.  I get that you want to accomplish a lot with that day you've been given.  I'm glad.  Each day is a gift and I believe we're irresponsible when we go into a day without a plan - even if the plan is to rest.  But, please hear me Mr. or Mrs. high-output, driven, world-taker.  You over estimate what you can accomplish in a day and under estimate what you can accomplish in a decade. With that being the case, you too must experiment with what works and does not work for you.  You need to get to know your personal rhythms and respect them.

There are many examples we can use, but let's use sleep.  How much sleep do you need?  Sure, you can read medical journals and find out what's recommended, but we're all a little different.  Experiment for yourself.  I know you want to get more done, but remember, you'll get more done over the long haul, if you will do the work it takes to find sustainable rhythms in your life.  I've found that a good and sustainable rhythm for me is to be in bed between 9:30 & 10pm and get up at 5am.  I do this Monday-Friday, sleep till whenever I wake up on Saturday and get up at 6am on Sundays.  I'm not suggesting this should be your rhythm for sleep.  It's just mine that I've found through several years of experimentation, false-starts and failures.  For example, I know that I can get up at 4:15am for about 6 weeks before I begin to crash during the day, but the only way I  know is that I've tried.

Two Sidenotes:

1. This is all a moving target.  Just about every cycle you find to be healthy will change as your season of life changes.  So, don't misunderstand and think this is a one and done exercise. 
2. If you think you can operate effectively on 3-4 hours of sleep per night, you're a fool.  You're probably about 50% of what you really could be. You're cheating yourself and everyone around you.  Grow up and stop believing you're super-human.

Sleep is just one example.  You can apply this toward all kinds of activities - exercise, food consumption, reading, study, hours at work, time alone, time with other people.  You name it and you'll find a healthy rhythm for yourself - if you're willing to look for it.  Remember, you will accomplish a lot more over the long haul than you will today, so choose your activities (even your rest) wisely.

I'd love to hear about some of the healthy and unhealthy rhythms you've found for yourself.

You already know all this . . . but you'd be a fool not to look again.

The Compound Effect is a great little book written by Darren Hardy.  It's an easy, quick read.  I read it in a week and that's just about a record for me.  So, you fast readers (or people without kids - haha) could probably read it in a day or two.

I'm a little torn on this one.  Not because I don't think it's good.  It's fantastic.  By far, the best book I've read in years.  My hesitation is not because the book lacks good content, but because the content is so incredibly simple.  Just yesterday, I texted 5 friends, who are great leaders, and recommended they read it.  Part of me felt like I was doing them a huge favor, another part felt somewhat embarrassed.  It's like I almost think they will read it and then call me up and say, "Well, I already knew all that."  But as the book's introduction states, "New or more information is not what you need - a new plan of action is.  It's time to create new behaviors and habits that are oriented away from sabatoge and toward success. It's that simple."

So, I'm holding onto this little book that's absolutely life-changing.  And believe me, I realize how overused that phrase is and I use it sparingly.  But this is a true example of life-changing . . . if you decide to engage your mind and actions. 

Here's the simple truth.  You are the sum total of every single decision you make.  I'm talking hundreds a day - most of them unconscious.  But that's one of the big problems.  You're living your life on auto-pilot when you should have your hands on the stick.  Each daily decision seems small - too small to matter, but each one does matter.  We can easily fool ourselves into believing "just one donut won't kill me" or "I can miss one workout and be fine" or "I can skip having that one more tough conversation at work that I really need to have."  They're all true statements.  That is, they are true if the "one" part is true.  But it's not.  If you make these statements and believe them daily, the truth becomes a lie and you are being sabatoged by the compound effect.  You see, the compound effect is like a law of nature.  It's always in effect. You can't choose to turn it on or turn it off.  You can only choose to leverage it for success or failure.  Tony Robbins said it like this, "Your decisions shape your destiny.  You future is what you make of it.  Little, everyday decisions will either take you to the life you desire or to disaster by default."

It all boils down to success.  Not just financial or business success, but success in whatever is important to you.  I actually hate that the subtitle of the book says, "jumpstart your income" because it makes it look like it's one of those "do this and get rich overnight" books, which I despise. Truthfully, it's more like a "do this and get rich over a lifetime" book. And when I say "rich", I mean in every sense of the word, not just financially.  Besides the simple principle-based writing in this book, Hardy gives tons of practical advice on how to translate the ideas into action.  It's also packed with worksheets you can complete to get yourself on track with many things you've probably been on auto-pilot with.

The bottom line is that I belive this is not only a great read, but a very important one, for anyone who is looking to do more than just exist and be taken here and there by life.  I hope you'll take that step.  If you do read this, please come back here and share your take aways with me.  I would love to hear your success stories!  Enjoy.

There's Always a Bigger Fish. Where Do You Fall on the Scale?

Let's not talk fishing, but levels of leadership.  Yes, there are levels.  Whatever arena you lead in (even just your own personal leadership) there are many levels.  Now, I'm not sure you can measure or classify them as easily as a 1-10 scale, but what I want to share with you today is that there are many levels of leadership, many levels of excellence, many levels of competence; and you'll never arrive at the top.  As they say, there's always a bigger fish.  If you're a fish, this is bad, because this means you'll eventually be eaten.  As a leader, this is great news, because it means there is always someone you can learn from!  This concept has been stirring around inside of me lately, but yesterday I had the privilege of spending some personal time with Blake Stanley from Mountain Lake Church in Atlanta.  The dude is a big fish and my time with him reminded me again of this point I want to make to you today.  First, though, let me share with you how I got to this understanding.

My first ten years in church leadership were in a mid-sided church that was doing some great things.  We were part of a decent sized denomination and the main "world" we interacted with, from a leader-to-leader standpoint were those from churches in our community and the district from our denomination. Now, here's where I got off track.  Even though I had a solid amount of networking and exposure to other leaders, my pond was relatively small.  And since our church was one of the largest and most influential in our small pond, I was usually a big(ish) fish.  Where I got into trouble was that I didn't realize there were bigger fish in bigger ponds.  Because my exposure and my pond were limited, I began to think I was a much bigger fish than I really was.  Of course, there was the issue of personal arrogance, which is a totally different (and serious) issue.  But, here, I'm addressing the structure and exposure problems that existed for me and do exist for many leaders.

Now, sure I had "exposure" to nationally known, high-level, leaders.  I went to conferences.  I listened to leadership podcasts, etc, but I never spent time in the presence of those big fish.  And if you've never spent time in the presence of the big fish of your world, you're missing a lot and you're stunting your own growth.  It's easy to hear a conference speaker, agree with what he says and fool yourself into thinking your agreement puts you on par with his ability and expertise.  It's just not true.  He's speaking there because he's got something most of the rest of us are lacking.  Embrace that lack and let it drive you to higher levels!

So, back to the levels and what I learned.  In my world, I began to see myself as a big fish (maybe an 8-9 if we're using that scale), but what I found out later on is that I only looked like that big fish in my relatively small pond.  I'll never forget the first time I was in an environment with some of the high level people from Life.Church.  It took about 10 minutes for me to realize that I was way out of my depth.  All of a sudden, I felt like a 4-5, not an 8-9.  And that was unsettling for me.  It was almost like I was having an identity crisis, as a leader.  Ultimately, though, it's become a good thing for me.  And ultimately, it will be a good thing for you if you can embrace the concept and do something about it.

In the last several years, I've had the great honor of speding some personal time with some very high-level leaders in my niche.  And every time I do, the light shines on areas I need to grow in and work on.  I'm so grateful for that.

So, if you want to be great, one thing you will need to do is find ways to get into the presence of those who are at a higher level than you are presently.  If you're a business owner, there's more than the guys in your regional chamber.  If you're a doctor, there's more than just your colleagues at your hospital. If you're a church leader, there's more than your denominational fellowship or your own city network. Recently, I wrote (here) about getting the right people into your life. You definitely should check that out. It will take this conversation deeper and there's a link to another article from Will Mancini that talks specifically about how to get into the presence of these higher level people.

Well, as always, it's up to you.  Swallow your pride.  Realize you don't know it all and surround yourself with the right people.  I'd love to hear how this step helps you grow.  Please share those wins with me, as you experience them.

A Tale of Preparation and Failure

Here's a true story.  A number of years ago, I worked for a friend in a start-up business of his.  Just a few weeks into my work, I was driving the company truck and was pulled over for a missing mirror. Naturally, the officer asked for my license and the vehicle's proof of insurance.  I looked all through the glove compartment and the center console.  No insurance card. I called my friend (the owner, the boss) and asked where the insurnace card was.  What ensued, after five seconds of silence, was the confession that he had no insurance.  I was shocked.  What further ensued was a citation written to me, not the owner of the truck or the business.  I had to go to court, plead no contest and was given a hefty fine for driving without insurance.  I know, it's ridiculous, but that's the law - at least in the state of Oklahoma.

My boss did reimburse me for the fine, but it was only a couple more weeks before a paycheck bounced.  Once that paycheck bounced, I quit on the spot.  That's not how I operate and I have very little patience for that kind of ongoing irresponsibility.

He seemed surprised. But why would he be surprised?

A better question might be, why are you surprised when the people around you leave for greener pastures?  One of my favorite quotes of all time is, "The more you sweat in preparation, the less you bleed in battle."  Another great one is, "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."

Look, I'm not writing this from a place of perfection.  I've had my share of leadership failures that have caused frustration and even pain to those I lead.  But, can I tell you something?  If you're in any type of leadership position, your habitual lack of preparation and attention to detail is killing your team.  If you are putting your team at physical risk . . . if you are chronically missing meetings . . . if you regularly miss deadlines . . . if you're mismanaging finances, those high capacity people on your team will .  .  .   You know what?  Never mind.  You won't have to worry about them for long. Carry on.

Surprised?  Why would you be surprised?