Is Personal Growth and Self-Leadership Even Important?

Most people I know have a desire to do something significant with their lives.  I’ve observed some be energized and motivated by this desire and some be deflated and depressed.  "Maybe", they think, “I’m not cut out to do anything significant.”  My question to those people has always been and always will be, “Why not you?”

I think I’ve found a clue to why some seem to be able to step into big new worlds and others seem to just stay stuck in the same frustrating life they’ve lived in for years.  I believe the difference between the do’s and the do not's is their willingness to take responsibility for their own growth.  Another way to say it is leading yourself.  It’s ironic, and even ridiculous, that some of us desire other people to follow us when we’ve not even made the effort to lead ourselves well.  In fact, I’ve seen this be a repetitive theme in my own life and in the lives of many of the people I’ve worked with over the years.  It seems that seasons of personal breakthrough are usually preceded by seasons of personal growth and good self-leadership.

Unfortunately, for some of us, it’s way too easy to sit around and complain about how everyone else gets the breaks and even how God seems to call everyone else to bigger and better things in life.  But, how likely is it that God just likes those people more than he likes you?  Does that even make sense?  Isn’t it more likely that God is actively looking for people who are already on the right trajectory? 

I still remember when I first discovered personal growth.  It was the second half of 2007 when I discovered two growth tools that seemed almost magical to me – blogging and podcasts.  I wrote my first blogs on my myspace.com account.  Remember MySpace?  Those were the days.  I launched my current blog in December 2010.  It was hardly a launch, really.  I just started writing because I liked writing and it gave me a great outlet to process the growth happening inside me.  Prior to this time, I had listened to a few podcasts, but I thought they were just a tool for struggling bands to get their music out to a new audience.  I had not realized what rich content there was for the taking – for free!  Only once someone introduced me to the Catalyst Podcast, did I realize the growth potential.  For months, my mind was blown by the guests I heard interviewed.  This was the time I was introduced to Donald Miller, Rob Bell, Craig Groeschel, Andy Stanley, Dave Ramsey, Francis Chan, Mark Batterson and dozens of other great leaders I’d never been exposed to before.  I can still hear that introduction by Andy Stanley . . .  “Leadership is a stewardship.  It is temporary . . . and you’re accountable.”  That literally sent chills up and down my spine every time I heard it.  I was hooked on leadership.  I was hooked on growth.  Not surprisingly, as this growth was taking place, I was seeing and walking into all kinds of new opportunities in the world.

Now, that’s my story.  But what’s yours?  Do you value growth and self-leadership or is that just for the self-help gurus to talk about so they can sell books?  I’ll tell you the truth.  If you value yourself, you’ll value personal growth.  You’re either growing or you’re dying.  There is no such thing as a plateau.  That’s the term we use to comfort ourselves when we know we’re dying a slow death.  

Now it’s time for you to take a step.  What is one new piece you will introduce into your life to foster growth?  This could be some kind of career training, beginning a new reading plan, solitary times of prayer and meditation, listening to podcasts or any number of other avenues. I can’t define this for you.  It’s your life.  It’s your responsibility to find what works for you.

The final piece (for now) is accountability.  Who is one trusted friend you can share your plan with?  You will not only give this person permission, but you will charge them with the responsibility to hold you accountable on this new growth mechanism you’ve decided to introduce into your life.  Choose wisely.  This must be someone who loves you completely and has no hint of an ulterior motive.  Depending on your situation, your pastor, a co-worker, and even your spouse may or may not be the best choice.

Choose wisely.  Choose to begin a life of personal growth.  Choose to lead yourself well.

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The Power of the Pause

Are you a motivated individual?  Are you always moving forward?  Are you always working on the next goal?  Do you get pleasure from the hustle of creating your future?  If you’re nodding yes right now, I’m glad for you.  Those are generally good qualities to possess.  You’re well on your way to achieving your dreams.  However, let me ask you another set of questions.  Which day of the week do you generally take off to rest?  How often do you find quiet places to reflect?  What do your personal retreats look like?  How much do you value rest and reflection?  If you’re staring blankly at these words wondering why anyone would ask such silly questions, we need to talk.  You, my friend, need to understand the power of the pause.

But, why?  Why would you need to stop, rest and reflect?  You don’t get any work done that way.  You’re either taking ground or losing ground, right?  Wrong.  If you’re under the impression that you can just push, push, push and continue to take ground, you’ve bought into a lie.  Have you heard the Law of Diminishing Returns?  The Law of Diminishing Returns simply states that every individual will hit a point in time when productivity will drop off significantly and will not return, no matter how many hours worked and how hard that individual tries to push through the wall they feel they’ve hit.  Daily, you’ll usually hit this wall at the 8-10-hour point.  On a weekly basis, after 5-6 days.  Beyond that, you’ll need to experiment and figure you’re monthly and yearly rhythms.  Think of your life like a road trip.  Driving hard may get you to your destination, but every road-trip is filled with pauses to cool down and refuel.

If you’re a hard driver and have thought of rest and reflection as wasted time, let me share two truths that those of us who do take pauses have learned.

Truth #1: Magic happens when you create space to dream and reflect.  A great mentor of mine told me years ago, “Life happens in the margins.”  He was right.  What are the margins?  They are the buffer times in your schedule and your life.  If you have every minute scheduled, all the time, you have no margin and that’s no kind of life.  When you create these margins in your life, you’re creating space to dream and reflect.  Imagine how much more you could accomplish if you had a regular flood of new and creative thoughts come to you.  This is why you get some of your greatest ideas in the shower.  It’s because the shower may be the only place you ever stop working!  That’s the magic that happens when you create space to dream and reflect.  Have you ever taken a walk down streets you normally drive?  If you do, you’ll notice all kinds of things you’ve never seen before.  That mom and pop business that doesn’t have a flashy sign.  The beautiful fountain that’s slightly obscured by a strip mall.  A lone home in the middle of a retail district.  You gain a greater perspective when you slow down.  You see things that were previously hidden from sight.  Your best ideas will be hidden from you if you continue to drive hard all the time.  Slow down and create space in your life to dream and reflect.

Truth #2.  Energy naturally returns and increases through these times of rest and reflection.  Are you tired?  If you never pause, rest and reflect, the answer is certainly yes.  If you’re in the camp with so many others who desperately want more energy, let me tell you something.  A good night's sleep or a few hours unplugged from your work will give you 10x more energy than that 4-pack of Red Bull you use as a crutch.  You can’t argue with God’s design.  You’re an amazingly complex machine, but you were born with the design that requires rest.  Just like any other machine with a design, if you use it like it was intended to be used, it performs. If you use it in a way contrary to its design, it breaks down.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done nothing for nearly an entire day, feeling like I had no energy, only to magically feel my physical and mental energy hit 100% sometime in the late afternoon.  The only thing I did to replenish that energy was nothing.  We are made to rest and reflect.  If we don’t we are not using our bodies and minds as they were designed by our Creator.  No wonder we’re tired, sluggish and stuck. 

It’s counter-intuitive, but if you want max energy and max creativity, you must step back, rest and reflect.  It’s the power of the pause.  It’s real and you cannot ignore it.

Agree or disagree?  I'd like to know.  And I'd like to know why.  Please, leave a comment.

Why You Should Want To Create Value In Others

Ok, let’s get back to a question we started to answer last month. How do you determine your personal value and share it?  Last month, we explored how you might know what you can offer the rest of the world.  If you don’t think you have much to offer or you don’t know what those things are, go back and read last month’s article.  We explored 4 questions you can answer to determine what you do have to offer.  This month, let’s explore a new question.  How do you create value for others?

Maybe we need to answer an even more fundamental question first.  This is a question that gets to the heart of the vision you have for your life.  Why would you want to create value for others?  Well, the short answer is because you were made to do just that.  If you’re not careful, our culture will fool you into thinking that your goal ought to be creating maximum channels of inflow for yourself.  Make more money, have better relationships that make you feel good, move up the corporate ladder, drive a better car, live in a bigger house . . . you know the drill.  Nothing wrong with any of that provided that’s not all you have going on in your life.  In this scenario, everything is flowing one way – toward you.  You might think you want that, but you don’t. 

Think of the air conditioning system in your home.  You turn it on and it blows out cold air and your house cools down, right?  Not exactly.  If all it did was just blow cold air, it would be very ineffective.  While I’m sure you’ve noticed the vents in the ceiling or floor that blow the cold air, take a closer look at the complete system.  You’ll find some larger vents in the ceiling or walls that don’t blow any air out at all.  These are called return air vents and they take the stuffy, warm air and pull it out of your rooms and into the air conditioning system to cool it down.  So, your cold air vents blowing cold air toward you work in tandem with your return air vents that pull the warm air away from you.  It’s an outflow and inflow system that only works – only creates satisfactory results – when the inflow and outflow are working together. 

Your life is the same way.  Sure, you’re working hard to attain your goals and provide for yourself and your family.  Those are inflows.  But, you’ve been given gifts and talents that are specifically for the benefit of other people (see last month’s article).  Using those are the outflow.  And the health and fulfillment in your life come when the inflow and outflow are working in tandem.

If you need an even more life and death example, think of your own physical body.  The normal and healthy state of things is that you inhale air and you exhale air in a one-to-one ratio.  Take a deep breath.  Now take another deep breath.  Don’t exhale.  Now take another deep breath.  You see what happens.  Continuing the inhale – inflow of air only – actually, begins to choke your lungs.  It can’t be sustained.  Although it happens more slowly, so it’s harder to perceive, the same effect happens in you (emotionally, relationally, spiritually) when you have all inflow and no outflow.

You don’t need to get all the way to writing down a plan of action yet, but I hope this builds some vision in you to want to create avenues to share those unique abilities, gifts and talents that you’ve been given with those in your current circles and even beyond.  Next month, we’ll get specific about how you can build a strategy and a plan to create that value in others. 

--> You may not want to wait until next month.  If you’re ready to get started now, I'd love to help you begin building that plan by utilizing several highly effective coaching tools I have at my disposal.  Just click here to get started on your journey to finding your future.  When you’re ready, I'll be ready to help you get there.