Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Where I'm at this week . . .

Sorry I skipped last week.  I didn't have any clear avenues of prayer to ask you to join me on.  I'm not sure I do right now either, but I probably need your prayers more now than I ever have.  A dear friend of mine says I'm under spiritual attack.  I have to admit that hearing other people saying that over the years has really turned me off to that idea.  In the past, I've been of the opinion that most "spiritual attacks" are not really spiritual at all and that the person being "attacked" is just making excuses.  Maybe that's true in some cases.  I really don't know.

What I do know is that I am in a state now that I have never been in before.  I am confused, disappointed, discouraged, angry and scared.  I am presently trying to adjust to a much different reality than I though I would be facing at this point in my life and how that adjustment is going changes by the hour.  But, the reality is that I am the pastor of a small church that is, evidently, going to grow slowly.  The reality is that church is unable to afford any income to me or any other members of our leadership team.  The reality is that my family and I have set ourselves back years, financially, based on the vision and promises we believe God showed us.  I'm not loving the reality, but neither can I stick my head in the sand and pretend it's not there.

There are many positives.  Our church is healthy.  My wife and kids are a delight and we are all healthy.  I live in a city I absolutely love.  I have family nearby.  Our leadership team is one of the best I've ever seen.  My wife has a great job that she loves.  The list goes on . . .

Some prayers you could pray with me this week:
  • Reality - I just want to come to terms with my current reality and feel good about it.
  • Job Search - I am officially looking a job again.  If you know of any opportunities, please let me know.
  • Renewed faith - I'm just struggling to have faith in God's promises right now.  I want to believe.  That's about as much as I can muster now.
Thank you for your prayers and friendship.  I love you all.

5 comments:

Tracy Thomas said...

J, What I can see in all of this is a great man, leading his people by being honest with his feelings, his faith, his doubts. People are drawn to real & you are the most open hearted person I know. The people of your congregation are learning how to honestly walk through the crap of life with Jesus from you & Sara. Intensely praying for you. Love you J
TT

Southern Cheesehead said...

I don't know you at all, but my husband and I are in the same boat. We planted a church earlier this year and it's not growing very fast either. We're also about 2 months from travel to get our daughter in China. My husband went 6 months without a salary until he found the job he's working at now. It can be discouraging, but at the same time very freeing. I don't know how God does that at the same time, but He has for us. We absolutely love our church family no matter how small and it has been such a positive ministry experience which keeps us from focusing on the non-salary part. I hope you are encouraged today and know that God equips those He calls.

Jason Fitch said...

@TT - thanks for the prayer and encouragement bro! @SouthernCheesehead - what is your church's website? Thanks for the encouragement too!

Southern Cheesehead said...

it is www.MyCommunityChurch.net
Blessings on the job search...that was a tough one for us. No one in "secular" world gives 19 years of ministry any validity as "experience". it took 6 months to find someone who would still hire in spite of that. Ugh!

Jason Fitch said...

Thanks!