I can feel something swelling up beneath my feet. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, but it's a combination of God growing me into someone I've never been and bringing all kinds of blessings in the midst of some desperation.
I guess it all starts with a crisis. I don't really feel "stressed out" because I decided up front that I was not going to stress about things out of my control. So, I guess we're in a little bit of a financial crisis as a church. We've spent all the money that was raised up front and the regular income is not enough to sustain things yet. Couple that with a backup plan that was in place not being available at this moment and I guess things are scary.
But I don't feel scared. I feel excited. I'm filled with more faith and more expectation than ever before. I'm just beginning to get into another fund-raising push with my team and this time I actually am enjoying it a bit. And in the midst of the crisis, God has blessed us with some great gifts and even some unexpected cash coming our way. I'm so grateful for all that, but I'm even more grateful for who God is shaping me into through this situation. I'm praying more, I'm relying on God more and I'm getting comfortable (a little) with raising money. I faced the fact a while back that I would be raising money for the rest of my life if I'm going to even get close to the vision God has placed in my heart. It's nice to face it now with a glimmer of excitement.
God is cool. I am not. But with His help, I'm a little less hopeless than I used to be.