Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I need to trust who I am

I'm having a tough time being myself since I moved to Tulsa. Not around my family or the people who moved with me, but around the people I meet here. I'm so focused, fixated might be the word, on not coming off "churchy" or "religious" that I feel like I'm masking my love for Jesus and how excited I am to be a follower of His.

I feel like one of my strengths as a leader is my ability to be real and transparent. I am having trouble with that and I need God's help to just settle down and be myself. It's wearing me out all the time wondering how I'll come off to someone I meet. I am who I am. I guess that's a little bit churchy, but mostly just a real guy.

I must admit, I didn't see this one coming. I'm feeling pretty confused and worn out right now. Thank God for Sabbath days. I have one starting in just a couple hours!


jeremiah said...

I've been struggling, too. It feels like I have a quota to meet or something! It sounds ridiculous, but it's pretty monumental in my mind sometimes. When I get that way, I try to remind myself that I am not selling anything. The Holy Spirit is doing the drawing long before I meet that person...that usually helps me focus on just creating a new relationship. I believe in what you are doing, Jay! You are the right man for the job!

John Doe said...

It can be hard. We forget just to let Jesus shine through us. I remember when I was a teen, a boy I just met asked me why I was always smiling. Jesus was just shining through & my smile just opened up the door to share Christ's love. Jesus will shine through you, never before. - Alicia Roth

Jason Fitch said...

thanks Jeremiah and Alicia. I'm getting to a better place . . . slowly but surely :)

Jacob Lewis said...

Dude, I'm so glad you're my leader!