In the case of my three friends, they all felt like they were no longer the guy for the job that God had clearly called them to. Can you imagine this? How do you reconcile a perceived God-given calling and then have the courage to walk away? Two of my friends were pastors and one pulled his name out of the running for a job he wanted very much at a company he wants to work for. Why? Because they knew what we all know, from time to time. I'm not the guy (or girl) for the job.
~ We broke for lunch and afterward did some work on our own. We took the work from our timelines and needed to break all that information down to one or two key learnings that we would take away from that day. Of course, all of the learnings carried implications. This was a difficult truth to begin facing. As we came back together that afternoon, we shared some of our takeaways from the whole timeline exercise. What had we learned? And a better question yet, what would that mean to our future? When it was my turn, I was terrified. I knew what I needed to say. What I didn’t know was how would these guys around the table react. “As all of you guys would agree with, for any church or organization to function up to it’s potential, we all have to have the right people on the bus and have those people in the right seats.” I said. Everyone around the table nodded. “It has come to my attention today that I’ve got someone on my team who is in a very wrong seat and that person being in the wrong seat is literally killing our church and killing that person.” The room was silent and every eye was on me as I finished my revelation to the group. “It seems that person who is in the wrong seat is me.”, I said through a few tears. It was a hard realization and even harder to share out loud. After a few seconds of silence, every guy in the room affirmed what I was saying. Maybe they all knew I wasn’t cut out for the lead pastor role. Maybe they were just being supportive to their friend. No matter the motivation, it felt good to know they were there to walk whatever journey may ensue with me. ~
Perhaps God had other plans for those things He called me to? Perhaps He has other plans for the things He's called you to? We'll never know, unless we gather the courage to make that hard statement. I'm not the guy. I'm not the girl. I'm not the one to take this any further.
Being years on the other side of the fence, I can tell you the things that follow. Pain. Struggle. Healing. Growth. New opportunities. A total reinvention of yourself. If you're in the place of knowing you're not the one, I want to encourage you to do three things today.
1) Find someone who can coach you through this process.
2) Take courage and face it.
3) Refuse to get bitter and embrace the new.
You may think you're avoiding pain by side-stepping the hard decision, but you're really just robbing yourself of all the possibilities on the other side. So maybe you do have to be a hero to face this courageous path. Or, maybe choosing the courageous path is what makes a hero. Be that hero. You can do it.