Sunday, August 30, 2009


1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

I'm so aware this morning, as I've been for quite a while, that my "love" for my children does not always match this description given above. I know those boys are blessings from God. I want to love them like this, but I just don't seem to have it in me sometimes.

I often hear people talk about what a difficult job ministry is. I agree. It has it's share of challenges and is pretty thankless much of the time, but I find parenting infinitely more difficult. Frankly, I find myself a little bitter that nobody warned me about this and even more that nobody seems to have any answers to help. I feel very desperate about this. Will you please pray for me today?


Hubbell said...

As someone who almost had my children taken from me, I think we often take for granted what we treasure (or should treasure) most. After thousands of dollars in legal fees, turning down two "dream" jobs, and moving out of the city I knew God called me to, I realized myself how valuable my two little girls are. I'm still realizing how valuable they are as I continue to say "no" to opportunities I never dreamed of being given. As hard as my divorce was on me, I realize that it made me 1000x better a dad than I was before. I simply took my girls for granted and when someone threatened to take them from me, I quickly realized what really is important to me.

I know those of us in ministry constantly talk about how more important our family is than ministry. But few of us are ever faced with the possibility of our children actually being taken from us. I imagine that if anyone would ever try to do that, we would drop everything for our children. But, before my divorce, I was guilty of letting the "small things" which seemed like "big things" take my kids away from me. Only after I was confronted with a direct threat did I realize how small those "big things" were and how big my "small things" (i.e. my children) were.

In the end, I came to a place where the rubber really had to meet the road. I made the choice to be "on" when I'm with my girls and to be "off" elsewhere. Most of us make sure we're "on" when it comes to our job and our family get us when we're "off."

I'm not saying this in judgment, but in empathy. I'll be praying for you, Jason.

Alisa Rife said...

I may not been a parent, but I have certainly been around a lot of them-and their children. I have gotten small peaks into the life of a parent. It's the hardest job around. (and I only endured a few weekends!). Honestly, I don't believe anyone has the answers, just lots of advice. There is no perfect one way. You and Sara are great parents. You love and respect your kids to incredible heights. I have always treasured your family. =] Your boys certainly can try one's patience. But you guys always impressed me with your composure. Give yourself a break. Nobody is perfect all the time. ;) Love you guys.